On Long distance relationships.

In D/s, Bdsm on March 14, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Omg, I feel the need to crawl on to a soapbox. Annoying that urge. I’ve been a social activist for two decades of my life and for the past few it has been wonderfully in remission.

I come here  for a couple of reasons..
# 1 the sheer enjoyment of participating in an online community of..ah..like minded people

# 2 given my geographical location which shall remain
my private business..to MEET like minded people

# 3 to shall we say..expose ..my writing.

been reading a variety of posts on the nays and yays of LDR’s recently & it comes down to this..people tend to write out of their experience. If you’ve had or are having a good one with this venue of meeting people, you tend to expound on its virtues, if you have been run over by an online that did not make it offline or did so traumatically you whine.

I have been meeting people thru the net for a number of years now. There exist online communities I have participated in that have nothing to do with kink, and the connections have been tight, poignant, and sustaining when the local community was not.

I’ve met people thru this venue..the net..that have enriched my life and altered it incomparably to what it would have been if I had not had this tool to meet.

Long distance online relationships being one thing..long distance online romances being another. Ultimately it comes down to a meet and greet. There remains much to miss thru that little window on someone else’s world. If you are NOT sharp…which I was not initially ..it can make for encounters that range from the hilarious to the destructive..

However..one hopes you learn from experience and get smarter
at picking up on cues and asking intelligent questions.

I will borrow an example here from someone who means the world to me…IF someone confides that they pointed a gun at someone..and fired..you learn to ask..um..was this a random act..or were you provoked and if, so, tell me about that….

Laughing here.

The emotions evoked, and the intimacies, thru the cam,phone and text are as real as anything else..they just lack the full meal deal dimension. It is up to the parties involved to bring it into the same physical sphere, if indeed that is the goal.

I don’t advise anyone to get “collared ” online.Seems an opp for idle to prey on the vulnerable.

The point is we are talking power exchange here..and you need all your wits about you,if you are truly going to venture down that road with some one else.

Still, I remain an advocate or at the very least tolerant of the net as a means for meeting others , especially at a distance, and then staying awake to what is going down, what needs are getting met, which aren’t and how the two of you propose to move forward with that.

Seems that the LDR’s are not for the faint of heart..but then, neither is anything really.. stay awake, stay safe,try

try (lol) to stay sane.

Some connections are never meant to make it offline..but then some marriages should have never made it to the altar.

I have travelled many miles to meet and greet..and at the end of the day..been faced with the very same challenges I’ve faced in meeting the local yokels.

Your mileage may vary….

Ps. if what you REALLY want at the end of the day, is to be HELD at the end of the night..I would advise not pouring a year of emotions into things PRIOR to meeting. Make haste..or waste. Your choice. Lol


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