On the ethics and safety of Online subspace or trance space.

In D/s, Bdsm on March 21, 2009 at 4:10 pm

but given that there is sort of a generic understanding as to what the term encompasses, I’ll use it here.

Whether online /on the phone/or offline it is a state of altered consciousness predicated by power exchange. A state of altered consciousness not unlike ingesting a drug, given its powerful effects on the body…altered perception of time and space,altered auditory and sensual perception, altered heart rate, effects on blood pressure, ect.

I don’t know how common it is to experience subspace at a distance, to be cued by the non physical, but it should not be surprising , our capacity to do so, given that all perception begins with mind. Given certain dynamics,I’m wildly responsive to cues other than tactile.

I’ve only experienced it intensely in circumstances other than in the direct physcial prescence of others with three play partners.. “play” again a term I dislike, but oh, well.

In all these cases, I have felt the impact on my body in various ways..sound warps,my heart beat races and slows,the awareness of the other is simulataneously focused and diffuse, and I am unable to stand….

Theres talking kink..which most of us can do..hopefully..and then theres doing space, which I will call trancedancing.Trance dancing is to talking kink what doing kink is to doing vanilla.

To get to my point I was talking with a dominant last eve,who was “appalled” that other dominants would endeavor to evoke this state in another at a distance. Well, I have two things to say here..

one/ is that again it is the responsibility of the sub to know her/himself well enough to identify to the other when this has begun to happen..I have found that the other parties have KNOWN either by my face on cam or by my voice,

And two/ yes. It can be dangerous. As the submissive in trance dancin or let’s say the one who is being directed in power exchange my experience has been that the Dom usually leaves the session with a sense of satiation..
as in what a good meal that just was..sharper and gratified, while I have woken hours later ? disorientated and confused, still half tranced and alone.

It ia a very solo way to come out of trancedancin as the onus is on oneself to provide one’s own aftercare. The situation is a perfect context for the unpleasantries and dangers of drop.

A phone call the next day, a warm email focusing on the submissives well being helps.
In the abscence of these, I’d have to ask myself..how interested in my wellbeing, how ethical is the dominant I am playing with, being. I’ve dropped an online play partner from my chat utility for this reason.

As submissives, we cannot abdicate responsibility for our own wellbeing just because we are in the prescence of someone who identifies as dominant.

Know yourself. If you’re INANELY autosuggestive, like I am..Acknowledge it and be careful of with whom and how you play online.
Your capacity for trancedancin is your gift, not the sole perogative of the dominant…regardless of whatever bag of tricks they may carry to take you there.

I’ve talked to Dominants who feel so strongly about the ethics of going there at a distance , that although capable, they refuse to. Talked to others that feel assured of their ability to provide aftercare at a distance. If kink is foreplay…trancedancin is the orgasmic.

Stay aware of who you enter power exchange with..stay safe.

I’d like some feedback from those who have opinions on this or experiences to share , whether top or bottom.

Ps. I have just woken after near 24 hours of sleep.Wrapped in blankets drinking lemon tea. Still reviving from this kamikaze cold and still warming to all offers of empathy…IM lemon drop kisses and the like. It will pass but right now I look like something I dragged in. Smirx. Small purr..


  1. There was a terrific thread on Fet about the perils of interrupted or clueless misuse of subspace; wish I could find it. In short, DON’T LET IT HAPPEN.

  2. It would be great if you could find it MV. I would be very interested in the read.More needs to be said about this subject, and I will be addressing in furthur in my theta series. Submissives and bottoms need to have information on this as well as Dominants.

  3. I came across this after having found that I was capable of slipping into subspace at a distance. I had experienced it in person, but never expected it to happen while in voice and SecondLife. I crashed hard the first time, but have become a bit more careful once I was aware that it was even possible. I have complete trust in my Master, but we are both working out how to help me “come down” without a crash or drop. I would very much love input and/or suggestions of how others have dealt with these issues. My Master and I are both exploring ways to safely accommodate this newest discovery. Submission and Domination is always a journey!

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