Doing Power Exchange in D/s Relationships.
What is Power exchange in Dominance and submission?
It is a flow of energy, issuing from consensual roles between two individuals.
This energy is ultimately synergistic, that is it flows both ways , reinforcing and shaping the Dominant individual and reinforcing and shaping the submissive individual in their chosen roles.
Just as the submissive responds to the Dominance of the Dominant partner, the Dominant responds to the submission of the submissive partner. There is a mutual set of needs, that meet and merge in a mutual gratification, and in a healthy D/s exchange, personal growth.
Growth is innate and dynamic. Without growth we stagnate. To grow in a D/s exchange, trust is perhaps the most fundamental of cornerstones. Sans trust, growth will be inhibited. We spread our wings, we measure ourselves against bars both intrinsically and extrinsically sensed..
Trust is not forged overnight. Trust itself is dynamic…it is predicated on and watered by consistency, goals met, limits surpassed.
Both the Dominant and the submissive begin a dance, intuitive at first, to see if they have something of personal and unique value to one another.
We are larger than the sum of our roles. The relation between the two becomes a third entity, it is a creaturata that issues from the merging of the two, it is shaped , carved and nurtured by attending to one another, in all our particularities.
To this end, both Dominant and submissive develop empathy for one another..empathy being a demonstrated ability to resonate to the deep needs of the other..to intuit, thru reason and calling, in the service of synchronicity.
Without synchronicity, there will not be growth.
Synchronicity encompasses the whole of the relationship..no one domain should be untouched…we grow into a deepening erotic understanding of each other as unique individuals, a deepening emotional and intellectual understanding, a deepening psychology.
This journey is not linear . It has bumps, challenges, periods of frustration and demands a vision of where you as individuals wish to travel together.
There invariably will be risks, challenges, and periods of intense self and coupled reflection. Growth is difficult, mastery requires practice on the part of both Dominant and submissive, mastery of the self is not the sole domain of the Dominant partner, but the domain of the submissive as well.
A Dominant must value mastery of the self, before they can enter the journey of the mastery of the submissive. From their own knowledge of this journey , they have something of wisdom to impart to the submissive .
To bring it back to power exchange..two elements must clearly be sensed, that one is attaining increasing personal mastery ..the one by directing, the other by being directed.
I cannot stress how important it is that the submissive see the positive and life enhancing results of engaging in power exchange with the particular Dominant one is engaged with.
The Dominant’s influence on one’s sense of well being must be felt, the various arenas that they have mutually agreed to engage in power exchange over, will over time in a growing dynamic, fed by a developing trust, and the actions that spring from that..be obvious both to the Dominant and the submissive.
Intimacy is not a straight line, however, over time the movement should be that of an enhanced rather than fractured bonding.
Power exchange should serve to lift, inspire and broaden both individuals sense of self hood. Yes, I maintain that fulfillment should flow in both directions.
A relationship based on D/s power exchange will impact the couple as separate individuals and as a shared third being, the birth of the results of the bond between, a bond that is unique to every two that enters within.
If power exchange is the template and the electrical current, what is fostered will be unique to that coupling. This is why no two D/s relationships are alike , nor should they be.
We bring our uniquenesses at heart to the core of power exchange.
Happiness notwithstanding, growth is the paradigm upon which it all rests..for both. It is not so much that we find growth in happiness, so much as we as humans find happiness in growth.
Stretching is not always pleasant, in fact it is often painful.
But the stretching should be in service to enhancing our selves as erotic, intelligent, and empowered …not diminished.
No one moment defines this and there is no complete arrival. There is error and trial and of such things the path is taken.
Power exchange is the path. Heed who you enter the dance with. For what is mutually created has such latitude to heal or to harm, both individuals.
Dominance should not run amok, seeking to dominate anyone for the sake of dominating. Submission requires that you bring your head and your heart to the wedding feast at Cana.
The alchemy of power exchange should enliven both.
It will not always be easy.
Think of the new testament story where the master felt the “power” go out of him when his garment was touched.
He responded to the “touch” to the deep call, and his response was to heal.
In touching something deep within the Master’s core, he was enabled to respond as Master, and the woman to receive.
This story was not an impersonal one..they “felt ” one another’s beings.
The exchange unique to them.
All power exchange is at core between two uiniquenesses and unduplicatable in time.
Thoughts from the keyboard of the cat