FETISH

Posts Tagged ‘long distance relationships..D/s’

En Route..happicattin.

In D/s, Bdsm, Daily news update..art,writing, collaborations, upcoming events, My journal on June 1, 2009 at 6:49 pm

En Route. My wingback has finally lifted..NYC and Jersystan , here I come!

Few words tonight, the  cat DOES have my tongue, the quiet before travel..

travel is always life altering in ways unexpected..

I am so happy about this trip..

have been waiting..with Lucifer shortly, collaboration, romance, friendship…I will be blogging my trip and taking photos,  check it out..

catdancin as always,

the cat xo

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Firestarter.

In D/s, Bdsm on May 15, 2009 at 9:31 am

A repost from last september…Having a peaceful morning coffee with my kinksteratti pal feeling smug wearing fetchin thin pink cami on cam hey its a kink site u guess whos wearing what when suddenly the right front burner in the kitchen ignites and the moment is channeling one of bjorks
hi pitched edge of straightjacket screams and three phone calls are coming in and my dropped cigarette on the den floor is about to start yet another fire while im seeing to the first looking like i just switched ethnicities to something italian but sounding fullblooded irish lord jesus mother of fuck have mercy speakers are stuck on repeating rendition of a tune gift from um ..the devil limp biskits i want to eat u alive in harmony with the fire alarm and the hood is being woken and the guy downstairs is loathing me initially cause yes i do play u2 sometimes but i threw my garbage out my deck 3rd floor lastweek and it landed in an improbably difficult postion on his roof i bring down property values but the kinksteratti opines that the dude probally still wants me im going to be burned at the stake at the corner of cross and main at dusk by the neighbors your all invited.
Sigh.

This mornings moment brough to you by
turretsRusdonttrythisathome.com

cat

Me or We..Have we become a culture of Uber narcissm?

In 1, Philosophy..sociological commentary on May 14, 2009 at 9:34 pm

I’m musing this eve on narcissism and its colonization of western cultural values. I’m thinking about the whole on line proliferation of easy access to self promotion and its fracturing of the self.

Identity has become fluid, coursing thru the bits and bytes, spawning multi representations of moments along our own personal timelines, thru photoblogging, self confession, self expression…

… given unbelievable latitude and longitude..
( ha! think cock pics)

In the lifetime of the average blogger here, the majority between 30 and early 50’s..technology has created a world wherein we have become our own front page headline, our own press and paparazzi, capable of extending our virtual viral vibes into the eyes and minds of a multitude, our reach, global.

The scale boggles the mind, if we stop to think about it.
But given the intimate settings from which many of us write, our own dens, living rooms, bedrooms, ect, do many of us really STOP to think about it?

I think perhaps we have become more cynical and jaded as a result, more isolated in our social contact, if we define social time as time spent offline, face to face, flesh to flesh.
Many people spend their working hours in office cubicles or oout tof the home, and then their spare time surfing..

We have developed new skill sets to deal with cyber intimacy, whether it be friendships with those of like affinities, or
lovers….we have sharpened our abilities to write of self as object,as our lives as quasi fiction..magical realism genre..as ourselves as brands.

Are we narcissists as per the old definition? Consumed by self?
Or is that definition somehow wanting, is there some new take, that perhaps sees liberation and the good in the democratizing of free speech, the democratizing of business, the extension of potential and reach beyond narrowly defined geographical and financial boundaries?

I’m not knocking the web, I am all over it, but at what point is it all over me?

I have always spoke to collective social values.
We built a nation on it here in Canada..we tend to the collaborative rather than the competitive, this however is rapidly altering.

I myself, remain collaborative in approach, reclusive though I may be at times, and solicitious of my own privacy in ways that may not be readily visible.

I spoke to Lucifer of my thoughts on this, and he had some interesting points to make which continue to flesh out this bird’s eye view of the topic..

The net is perhaps not unlike the splitting of the atom, can be used for unimaginable good and evil..neutral in itself if you take a post modern approach. Have we become as mini gods, fallen headlong into our own ever elusive images to the detriment of our worlds, or have they exploded expotentially?

Cat

Lucifer:

This is not a new pattern that is emerging or has emerged, we're, an 
intelligent race, have been broadcasting our selves long before Ben
Franklin printed a news paper.  However started with Ben Franklin as an
official form of public media, not everyone had access to a press, nor
Franklin, to advertise their services, wares or offers, but as ingenuity
in humankind progressed the print form of media began to grow, and
provide access to those people who had something to sell, share or talk
about...including themselves.

The marketing of self is as old as history can record, there has always
been a hawker, yelling to sharpen your blade, or shoe your horse.  Sign
makers were told what the sign should say about Mary the seamstress and
this has not changed no matter how we evolve, what has changed is that
technology allows more access for the same behaviors...and reaches more
people.

 From the print media to the radio, from the radio to the television.
Television expanding as megahertz grew and communications grew, along
with the cheapening of costs to make these marvels of modern technology,
so it comes to pass that the oldest of gratuitous marketing behaviors
became more and more creative, more and more revealing and more and more
received.

The net is only the next step in this typical human pattern of sell,
sell, sell...and it isn't only capitalism, it is selling one's life for
the shear joy of being able to obtain attention, it is the selling of
ideas and beliefs but it is no different when Franklin started printing
the first Philadelphia Newspaper some 200 years ago, and the reality to
that is, we as a species have always found a way long before Franklin to
market what ever it is we had to say.

Is it all a genetically predisposed narcissisim?  Not by definition, but
who doesn't enjoy some type of positive attention?  We will evolve
further in technology, to a point where maybe we will no longer need to
leave our homes to attain physical gratification, just slip on the cyber
suit and get laid from translation of data.  Maybe we will have the
replication devices that make food from atoms, like in Star Trek, there
is no telling what the future will bring, but to believe that the
internet has proliferated this behavior is a mistake...we have been
doing it since man scrawled on a cave wall...
*

Musings from Lucifer and the cat

Dream Thieves.

In D/s, Bdsm on April 29, 2009 at 1:50 pm

i Woke from a dream and in it i was Begging you to have Sex with me on cam bc, as i
said in My dream we’d already had sex in person, in R/t ,and tho i had Experienced you in every other way ,i had not visually,it was one of those post/sleep chaotic Moments when it All merges, the Tails of Many things, and i was searchin, searchin….

not onli bc i was NOT certain we had had R/t sex but also bc you looked like Someone else in My dream,but you/were/not/Him, you/were/You ,and i felt Something Significant had Happened,but i was Not Sure What, and then i Rose and went to My door, and it was Wide Open and i KNEW it HAD been left Shut, and i Thought was Someone here while I slept? Have i been the victim of a
Theft?

and then i went to my deck and Looked out across the Water, and there was a rainbow Strung across the Metallic evening Skies, and the Trees were Shivering The Way They do when a Storm is coming…

and i re/Called your Voice, and i re/Membered You, it was so Very Very Late, Long Past Coherence, there Was no sex,no subspace, just this and onli this, Your voice, Orpheus Descending,dreaming me Down,Down into inchoate layers, Lost, interpretative Dance,Open to Any and All Meanings i Might assign This,

inDelibly Scrawled,Forever Archived,You,you,you…

and i WANTED to Call Somebody Somewhere and Report a
crime.
but The Crime remains Undefined, and the
Perpetrator has noface/1000 faces…

i heard the faintest LullaBye thats What
I heard,
Hush, hush, Babe,
but there Was No Singer standing
Over me….

Just 5 a.m Dialtone and
white Noise.

cat

Long distance D/s relationships. Surviving and thriving.

In D/s, Bdsm on April 17, 2009 at 4:00 pm

I am in an Ldr.

They are not for the faint of heart.

In the absence of community,

couples can find themselves isolated. How does one work the challenges  that invariably come with sustaining aM/s or  D/s relationship via distance?

One key is to not become completely isolated. Be part of a community online together,  reach out to others, do not sink into obscurity.

Significant relationships are embedded within a social context, the LDR faces special challenges this way.

The ldr allows us to communicate and grow with another we perhaps never would have met another way, however these relationships are challenged by lonliness, lack of physical proximities, and costs of travel.

Most would agree that to sustain one long term a relocation is eventually on the table. But what to do while figuring this out?

Here is some advice.

1. Use all mediums to establish consistent routines of contact and communication.

2.  Learn about D/s at a distance..it can thrive!  However it can also challenge the strongest of couples.

3. Early on , ask for and validate the identity of the individual one is getting to know.

4. Talk , talk, talk about expectation and have a JOINT game plan for how to handle the invariable down times and crises.

5. Meet when it becomes feasible to do so. These relationships are very real, and meeting is paramount.

6. Cyber is no longer the antiquated creature it once was limited to ICQ and texting..scening is possible and the limits are only your creativity.

7. Communicate, communicate, communicate! it does not always have to be heavy, in fact that will work against you, but share the various aspects of your separate lives.

8. Watch movies, porn, visit art sites online, send videos of your locales ,and yourself in a spectrum of activities.

9. Let the cams run..it’s the next best thing to being there, without always having to talk..this can be very enjoyable and revealing.

10. Keep your outside contacts and friends..remain multidimensional!

Just a short little list..I will revisit this topic tomorrow, ..ps, pics are my tribute to spring..me in my baseball cap and shades! bring on the daffodils.

Oh, reminds me..send snail mail, and flowers are always a delightful surprise, make the gifts personal..a small wallet picture ect..

have a great friday eve, cat

6.